Rant

I have hit a wall as far as writing goes. Normally I have an endless amount of bullshit that I rant about, but for right now I'm stuck and fucked.

The one thing I really want to do is continue that short story, "To Hell", but I have no idea where to go from there, not too mention I fucking hate the title now too and want to change it. It seems my creative spring has dryed out.... or there was an oil spill or something in it, at least.

So, instead of my normal stories, I will put up this ranting list about Myspace.com. Don't sign up. Please. There's enough fucktards on there that I think should off themselves already.

On Myspace:

1. If I see one more motherfucker that "TyPeS LyKKE dIs!!!" I will punch someone in the cunt. This doesn't make you cool- it makes you a fucking idiot. Learn to spell, and whatever thing you're doing that makes the capitals turn on and off, stop it. If I could, I would break all the fingers on your left hand so you would have to type normal, like the rest of us.

2. Bitch, you ain't a diva. Know what a diva is? A woman who is eccentric but can sing really well, and so we put up with their bullshit because they can create beautiful sounds. Sorry, you're a nineteen-year-old girl from some shithole town in Jersey who wears too much makeup and has an accent that sounds similar to the noise a cat makes if you stuck a blowtorch up it's ass. On top of that, you think the fact that you are stuck up makes you a diva? No, it makes you a bitch.

3. Hats off to the one dude I saw who just had a picture of him shirtless puking in a toilet, and his display name simply said, "I DRINK GIN". Fuckin right you do, buddy.

4. If you're a woman, and you are so damn insecure that you have to steal another woman's pictures and claim that it's you in the hopes of men thinking you are cool before they find out you're ugly, then you got problems lady.

5. Your band sucks. Seriously. You will never be my friend.

6. I like it when women put up damn near naked pictures of themselves on their profiles. Why? Cause I like naked women. However, don't wonder why men don't respect you after you have a picture of your ass in pink panties pasted all over the internet. Even better is when you have the tramp stamp tattoo right above it, and it says, "Daddy" with a little rose or something. Yes, I bet he's proud of you for that one.

7. Guys who 1) go tanning, 2) get their eyebrows waxed, 3) have steroid acne all over their shoulders, 4) wear sunglasses at night or 5) use umbrellas, you must immediately find an egg slicer, put your balls in it, and be rid of them. We are ugly, mean, and unclean, and once you start using wax to remove your hair, you don't deserve your boys anymore.

8. My song does not run right. It's choppy as hell, and it really takes away from the aura of my page. This pisses me off more than I can tell you.

9. Don't complain about how much your boob job hurts on a bulletin. I have to scrape together quarters tomorrow morning so I can buy a pack of smokes, but you've got enough money that you can get huge fake cans? Yea, your life sucks... I wish my life sucked that much. Give me a break.

***(The only time this is admissible is if you post before and after pictures. Naked. While wearing a cowboy hat.)

10. No, I don't want free ringtones. I hope every one of you that steals my password for that garbage gets ass cancer.