Quotes from my newest hero, the Irish dramatist Brendan Behan.
There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.
I am a drinker with writing problems.
Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.
New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.
To get enough to eat was regarded as an achievement. To get drunk was a victory.
What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.
When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn't affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.