Thursday, January 03, 2008

The Meanest of Times

First, they don't give you a raise for a couple fucking years. But that's OK, this is a college job, you know? It pays you alright, works around your hours, you can deal with it.

Then, you graduate college. WOOO HOOO! Though you despise the old job with every ounce of your being, you stick with it, simply because you're comfortable, and you like the guys you work with. You're looking for a real job, the writing job that's going to come and save your ass and make you famous, the journalist job that's going to start you out. You'll have your own beat, your own portfolio, and hell, maybe even TIME will pick you up someday. You never know, right? The future is butterflies and fucking rainbows.

Well, you get shot down by every place you apply to. Hell, they don't even grant you an interview. Every paper, every publishing house, every magazine. Four years of college, and you can't buy a fuckin' seat on a park bench. Sure, I should have done an internship when I was there, maybe I could have some contacts, some experience... but you know what? I was too fucking busy. Busy with what? Working. Driving a forklift all hours of the day so I could pay my bills, my ridiculous car insurance ($7 G's a year, fellas, for three years), pay for my gas, and anything else that can be tacked on there. That was my fucking internship. It was an internship on the hard knock life, working with Puerta Ricans and blacks and white trash, learning all the bad shit and how to get away with it. But alas, there's no "contacts" that come out of that, no "references" to list on your application.

All that working 35 hours a week while going to school full time, all the literature and classes and professors and BULLSHIT, and this is what I'm fucking left with. Working 28.75 hours a week, getting paid absolutely nothing for it (cause it's been four years since I got a fucking raise), and praying that when I go into a metal shop in Ramsey on Monday, black Notre Dame hat-in-hand, that my buddy's boss (who may as well be a stevedore during the fucking Depression as far as I'm concerned) will grant me $12 an hour to pour metal and drive a forklift.

It'll be a new job, sure. And they'll pay me better. But the fact is, I am as jaded as one motherfucker can get. I am pissed. I am pissed at all those fucking high and mighty professors who made it sound so simple, who made it sound like you get out of college and people just fall at your doorstep to hire you, like so many dominoes. Well I guess that's what happens when you have fat motherfuckers who never have worked an honest, backbreaking day in their lives, teaching what they call, "Higher education".

The sad fact is, if I had joined the Navy right out of high school like my buddy, I'd be hired at $15 an hour and be moved up quick. Instead, back to the basement I go, with heavy gloves and a tired heart.

Writer's Guidelines: "It's not easy to break into Men's Health. Don't even try if you haven't been published in a major magazine. Still with us?"



ZooKeeper said...

$7 G's a year on car insurance? Who in the hell did you run over? A Kennedy?

Yeah, I feel you. I was working in clubs while I was attending school. Graduated over 10 years ago. IM still working in clubs. IM just a breath of fresh air, huh?

BH said...

Seriously - you're getting raped on car insurance. That is ridiculous. Is your record that bad?

I don't have any words of wisdom other than keep trying. Is it possible to do an internship now with someone?

Joe said...

You got hosed. Journalism is a dying industry. I work for a newspaper and I've seen the cuts in the Guild. No honest professor can recommend it for a career.

Nightmare said...

Jesus, is there room at the pity paty for one more? Those professors should have never said it was easy, and I'm guessing that they made it SOUND easy, and you MAY have misunderstood them. I too work 40 hours a week and went to college full time and never went on an internship, and blah blah blah blah.

I still am not using my degree in Advertising, I still do not know a single person in that field, I do however know 1000's of people in all areas of business and have met them all through working in clubs, joining civic groups, and MAKING myself on line. Look into joining Linkedin, Write articles for, and Create the life that the Gambler WANTS, stop bitching that you don't know anyone and start meeting people.

Feel free to contact me and I'll help...may not be much but you never know. I would also suggest you read the books "Never Eat alone", and "Selling Sucks", they give pretty good insight into making yourself an expert.

Irish said...

Just gotta vent once in a while man.

BH said...

Check my latest blog. It's a subject near and dear to you.