I read a quote once, and it's seeming more true to me everyday. I don't remember all of it, but it was something about how some great writers "feel life too intensely to bare living it". In the last six months, I've been feeling life pretty intensely. It is an amazing thing. It liberates me but destroys everything...especially in regards to how much you really care about the future. I'll only be happy doing a couple things in my life, and the bullshit I go through at my job now has me numb, and at the same time on fire.

Fucked up stuff, and I can't even come close to articulating it how I want to.